Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sleeping on the job


          Sigh... so if the universe wasn't complicated enough, Feisty Pants is now not sleeping.  Sigh again...  Honestly, some days it does feel as if somebody somewhere just wants to see what exactly it will take until I start indiscriminately smacking random individuals for no reason.  Not that a bout of insomnia is the end of the world, but it sure does feel like that when you're in the midst of it.  And this is not her usual state.  Hippie Pants and I both have chronic insomnia.  But we have always had it.  I stopped taking naps at three months old (My mother was thrilled at that.) Hippie Pants had to be practically forced to go to bed at gun point.  And then would sing and talk to herself until the wee hours of the  morning.  But Feisty Pants, she is like her dad.  Early to bed, early to rise, and happy to see the morning come.  (Honestly, it is like living with an alien or exotic animal.  Her sister and I don't understand that am cheerfulness at all. In the mornings we need a coffee IV and holy water thrown at us.)
           But now, FP has flipped that on its head. All of a sudden she seems to fight going to sleep every step of the way.  And when she can go to sleep, the smallest thing (noise, lights from the neighbor's car, the heat kicking on, anything...) seems to wake her back up and then she's up for hours.  And Goo and I end up succumbing to most insidious of demons that inflict themselves upon the parents of special needs kids. The  over thinking everything fiend.   Every time something new or odd happens, you go into overdrive trying to suss it out and fix it or repeat it.   I'm good at emergencies.  Practice makes perfect after all. But little things.  They will stymie me while I am trying figure out whether it means anything significant or not.  Whether every sneeze is a new pneumonia or just a little dust up her nose.   Every odd quirk just a new symptom of her strange development (Cp kids don't follow normal growth markers)or just a kid being a kid.  So, we will probably make the poor kid absolutely crazy trying to make things just right for her sleeping.  Music on or off?(We have always played classical while she sleeps) Extra blanket or take one away?  Heat up a notch or down?  More yoga closer to bed or more yoga in am?  A little chamomile tea? Melatonin?  Tylenol before bed- is she maybe uncomfortable?  Is she dehydrated and just needs more fluids? Is it a lack of some therapy? A few are on hold right now.  Is it merely a sign of puberty? She is at that age.  At this point we are likely just bugging the hell out of her to the point where she's too annoyed to sleep. Hell, I'm annoying me already.
               And it's just as bad when something goes right.  She makes a stride or any progress in her development, and we act like we're on meth.  Bouncing right off the walls trying to redo whatever the hell it is that's worked.  Because you are rarely sure what it is.   Trust me , if we were,  we would repeat that very thing ad nauseum.  Poor kid. Somedays I wonder how she tolerates us.  Must keep up her nights, putting up with loonies like us.

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