Why she was wearing that stethoscope

        So I wanted to address the controversy about what the two co-hosts on the view said about nurses. It's a day late and a dollar short, I know, but what do I do that isn't.  To be fair, I suspect the women didn't have a lot of experience with nurses and what they do all day. I also suspect they simply take turns on that show saying crazy things in the name of ratings.  ('"Look, aren't we all just opinionated and fearless here, or what?")  My guess is they draw straws or mascara wands or some such and short stick has to say something asinine.

         But, in order to help allay their oh so obvious ignorance of what nurses do all day. (FFS they referred to scrubs as a "costume" and did not realize nurses, along with respiratory techs and cnas, also wear stethoscopes.  Hell, I have two sets just for Feisty Pants.) I thought I would point out some very large and important differences between nurses and doctors. So here are just a few of them right off the top of my head:

1) Doctors get all the credit- Nurses do all the work.   This is not a slam against doctors. They are overworked and spend a lot of time poring over charts, writing orders, and trying to give and guide the best medical care they can.  But make no mistake, it is NURSES who get off their butts and give that care.  They spend all day with their patients, most of it on their feet. They see the results of the meds and treatments long before the doctors do.  As a result, they always make better diagnosticians than doctors do.   ALWAYS- and the good docs know this. If you are ever at a hospital that does not give nurses the respect they deserve- run don't walk to the nearest exit.  You are not getting quality care.

2)  Nurses tend to be more empathetic.  Doctors try and care but spend all day looking for the anomaly (medicine is a science of averages) and reading the charts.  Nurses, by spending more time with each patient, get to know them as human beings.  And nurses, like therapists and respiratory techs, are focused on maximizing care and potential. That may seem like a small difference but it is an amazing difference in healing as both a science and an art.  Docs are not going to hold your hair and help you get cleaned up if you are throwing up in reaction to the anesthesia.  Or bring you coffee because they know you have been up all night with your sick kid. The doc may have sympathy but the nurses get shit done. 

3) I have only ever had a nurse say anything rude to me once.  Many years ago.  And another nurse stepped in to fix that before it got out of hand. Doctors say stupid crap all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. I have a running list.  I am surprised I have never smacked a doctor. I have never had a nurse ask me if "anyone is really in there?" in reference to FP's personality or intelligence.  Never asked me if I would rather withhold care if she ever needed intubated (IN FRONT OF HER NO LESS).  Never tried to bully me for telling them no.  Once a doctor said this to me, "Gee, you seem to know your stuff medically with this kid. Ever think of being a nurse?" I said, "No, you could not pay me enough to kiss doctor's butts all day long."  (It was a hospital where they did not treat their nurses well)  After the doc left the room, the nurse high fived me.

4) Nurses save doctor's butts all the time.  I cannot tell you how many times I have heard a nurse nicely say "but Doctor, this patient is allergic to this medication."  Or " doctor, do you think I should I ask  a respiratory tech to come take a listen to this patient breathe?" Or "doctor did you want me to (insert procedure said nurse knows full well needs to be done but doc hasn't thought of it yet)"   This is the nurse gently saving the doctor from making what could be a large mistake.  And a good doctor damn well knows it.

             Listen, none of this is meant as disrespect towards docs.  They perform great work and are vital to society.  But when the zombies rise, I want some nurses and cnas and therapists on my team, that way I KNOW we will all survive.

A Taste of Fall

               So Feisty Pants missed another party today.  My nephew's daughter turned one .  Feisty Pants is either nursing a mild cold or a nasty allergy attack.  No fever but icky things are running out of her nose.   If it's a cold, we didn't want to give it to everyone else. If it's allergies, we didn't want everyone else's germs to turn FP's sniffles into something worse. If it's ectoplasm, she is a gifted psychic medium and then obviously movie style hi jinks would ensue at any gathering. Which means another day without cake and stuck with her evil parents.  She is understandably thrilled.  Thank goodness for the Dr. Who marathon.   That is the only thing that has kept her from firing us squares and blowing this popsicle stand of dullness.  Well, that and cooking which is had kept her at least mildly entertained.  Feisty Pants sees cooking as one big fun science experiment and she is kind of a science geek.

                So to that end, here are a couple of fun fall themed recipes we tried out today.  They kept FP chuckling and happy I think because they gave her a sense of accomplishment and not because she slipped the poison in when we were not looking. Meh, either way they are tasty. Enjoy!

Apple Ham Paninis- 

You will need:  One loaf French or Italian Bread, thinly sliced apples (macs or granny smith), sliced deli ham, sliced cheddar, sliced onions (optional), honey mustard dressing

Slice the bread in half length wise. Spread thinly with dressing.  Layer on apples, ham, cheese, onion.  Toast in panini press.  (If you don't have one just use a foreman grill or use a griddle and weigh down with a bacon press.)  Serves four with a salad or two if one of you is Goo.

Crockpot Cider-

 This one is great for a party.  And it makes you house smell amazing!!! (Beats cleaning.) You could cut it down and do this in a small pot on the stove if you like.  Just simmer it on low.

You will need: 1 gallon apple cider.  1 TBS. Vanilla.  1/2 cup honey OR 1/2 cup sugar.  1 TBS allspice. 2 TBS cinnamon.  1 can pumpkin puree (optional)

Throw everything in the crockpot and simmer until the house smells like autumn in heaven.

Fried Apples-

You will need: Five or six apples, half stick of butter, half cup brown sugar, loads of cinnamon.  (calorie counting is for squares)

Core and chop the apples into chunks.  Melt butter in frying pan.  Toss in apples, sugar, cinnamon.  Cook on medium, Stir a lot.  When apples have softened and sauce is starting to thicken, it's done.  Put on anything and everything. (I suggest ice cream or pancakes) Enjoy.   

To whom it may concern

         Well, it's been almost two weeks since I've posted.  First we have been crazy busy trying to fit in a gazillion appointments before school started.  Then the computer died so we were sans  proper interwebs for the week.  But now we are back up and humming along and school started today so my excuses for procrastination are now null and void.  It's probably actually a good thing I did not blog earlier because the last appointment pissed me off to no end.  This pause has forced to think about what I really want to say instead of just telling a certain doctor  to eat a bag of dicks.  (I should ask you to pardon my nsf your w language. But I am not sorry.)  So instead, what I am going to do is make a list of things I wish people would do when encountering Feisty Pants. 

So to that end: 

 

Dear teachers, educators, and school personnel:   For the most part, you guys are without a doubt the good guys.  You have been amazing and dedicated and awesome. But a couple of things.  One, don't think my disorganization is a sign of uncaring.  Feisty Pants has parents who have ADD and are sleep deprived, we forget and/or lose everything.   If its's important, write it down and e-mail us.  That way we won't forget.  Also, Feisty Pants is a genius at making people think she cannot do much.  Especially mentally.  Never forget that this is a kid who can get out of  a car seat in 2 minutes flat and escaped a wheelchair whilst belted in in the time it took me to cross an intersection.  She also invents funny insults for family members.  Humor is a sign of intelligence.  Obnoxious, snarky humor even more so.  Oh, and a special note to administrators.  I get you don't see her as much as the people who spend all day with her so you don't see her in all her glory, but trust me this girl is COLLEGE BOUND.    If we can do this in a spirit of cooperation and harmony, great.  If we have to do it with me dragging everybody kicking and screaming along our path, I am completely ok with that.  Respect her education or listen to me bitch ad infinitum.  Either way works for me.

Dear medical personnel:   Again, for the most part you guys are pretty awesome too.  But when you suck, you really suck.  I appreciate that Feisty Pants stymies most of you.  You spend ten to twelve years of life working your butts off only to be presented with the living conundrum that is Feisty Pants.  She gets sick when she shouldn't, sails through problems that should equal ICU stays, and in general causes you to lose sleep and sometimes hairlines.  It doesn't help that FP sees you all as the enemy and at best, ignores you and pretends you don't exist in the hope that you will be insulted and go away.  But she is not just a medical puzzle or cautionary tale.  She is a living, breathing, FEELING intelligent little girl.  You need to remember that.  And, frankly, I am NOT NOT NOT interested in your fears.  Don't give me dire predictions to "make me see how serious it is".   I ALWAYS take her health care seriously.  I just don't freak out easily.   And I lose respect for you when you do.  Also, tell all your medical brethren that the next moron who says a dire prediction in FRONT of the 12 year old girl, or in fact, talks as if she is not there in the room with you at all, is getting one of two things.  I will either smack you one or mail you a bag of phallic shaped gummies with a note that says eat this.  (depends on whether I have bail funds at the moment..)  You have been warned.