Happy Belated Earth Day!

        Ok, so I meant to post this on Earth Day.  But,since I already gave the world an amazing earth day gift on the twentieth anniversary of the first Earth Day, I was babysitting so the gift could go out for her birthday. (I gave you Hippie Pants.  She is very green and wants to save allllll of you.  You're welcome!)  And, since both Dinky Pants and Mellow Pants are both under two, they spent the evening taking turns shrieking and throwing up and/or spreading mucus everywhere, so I got nothing written  We were busy being very earthy here. 

        Oh well.  It really doesn't make a huge difference as I am always at least a day late and a dollar short.  Everyday should be earth day, anyways. We should already be reducing, reusing, and recycling.  It's not just better for the earth.  It's also better (and cheaper!) for us. So with that thought in mind, here are a few upcycled and green toy ideas.  They are easy, fab, and definitely green.  (Bonus, doing this with your kid counts as good parenting.  You're welcome again.)

 

1) This my favorite- got a big cardboard box?  Got crayons and/or markers?  Got a kid?  Put the kid in the box with the crayons.   Tidy house or surf net or sip lattes while he is busy. Admire artistic endeavors afterwards.

 

2) This is a great link to a slideshow of easy diy toys made from cardboard  boxes and tubes from the DIY network.  There are a few really clever playhouse ideas if you have a BIG box.

 DIY Network Fun with cardboard

3) Water painting- great for little ones and very zen.  All you need is a container of water (a sand pail or bowl) and a brush.  Some colored paper if you want to be all fancy.  Just let the kid take his "paint" and brush outside and go to town.  Best of all  -no clean up. If your kid is really clever, you could teach him the idea of "art as an exploration of impermanence", because if they don't learn pretentious nonsense at home they will only pick it up in the streets and then where will they end up?

 

4)Diy Cd hovercraft- this one is a great for older kids to make. Everyone will have fun playing with it.  You will need the flip top from a dish soap bottle, a cd, a balloon, and a glue gun.  Instructions are here from the Chocolate Muffin tree.

CD Hovercraft

  

           So there ya go.  Hope you have fun.  And please, do reduce, reuse, and recycle.  There is only one Earth and we do have to share it.

Sh*t special needs moms say

        The great saint Erma of Bombeck once defined mother tongue as the only one that ever has to say, "Did you flush?" Since she and the Blessed Mother Rosanne are two of my favorite holy women, I thought I would make this post about all crazy, funny stuff I never thought I would say (or overhear) I hope this garners a few laughs and not phone calls to CPS. 

1) "If you pull that out of your shin, the doctor will just have pull out his drill and put another hole in your shinbone." (Said with a really exasperated tone.) Didn't work, she pulled out the IO anyway. Doctor did, indeed, pull out the drill again.

2) "Please stop trying to feed your g-tube to the dog."  The sad thing is, I have this sentence on repeat in my playlist. 

3)"Sweetie, can you go get me your sister's k-y jelly out of the medicine chest? Can you hurry? " In a million years, I'd have never thought I would say that once. EVER. Now I have said it about a hundred times. (See above.)  It's what we use to put her g-tube back in when Feisty Pants yanks it out.  You should see the looks on the faces of people over that one.

4)"Did you just say motherf@##=¥?  I'll give you a hundred bucks to say that to your speech therapist! "  Not sorry. No regrets on this one.

5) "Please don't punch the dentist this time. You know it upsets him."  This one wasn't me. I'm fine if Feisty Pants ONLY punches him.

6)"OH DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD?!?" Said to me by another mom whose feisty one ran up and introduced herself as one of FP'S friends. Upon hearing her name, I mentioned that I had heard about her.

7)"Listen, it's fine if you don't want to wear your underwear, but you will not wear it for a hat."  Again, this one was not me. I overheard it in a locker room after aquatherapy.  And I'd probably let her wear it as a hat.

8)"Nahhhh, but my sister's got a femur of titanium."  This was said to me not by a mom but by a special needs kid.  His mom (who had two kids with brittle bone disease.) and I were chatting about holidays missed due to hospitalizations. This was his response when I told the mom she must have an iron spine.

9)"For a doctor, you're an idiot."  I overheard this one in a pediatric ER.  I am not sure what prompted it, but that mom is my hero.

 

So, what's the funniest thing you've ever heard come out of your mouth?

 

 

A blessed moment of boring

       Hallelujah, we are back at school.  Which means Feisty Pants is back in her therapies. Back to physical, occupational, visual, and speech therapies. YAY. Plus gym. Plus regular classes. Plus friends. Plus cute boys. She even came home on Friday and told me she had been kicked off the bus for two days for swearing.  I was shocked- just SHOCKED,  to find out she was pranking me because it was April Fool's day.  I didn't stop to think at all that the two days were Saturday and Sunday so no school anyway.  (Don't tell her.  It will break her heart to think she didn't fool everybody. She laughed for an hour at her own cleverness.  After all, we adults are old and stupid.)

        Best of all, she is finally sleeping (cue angels singing and harps strumming) so maybe, just maybe we old farts will catch up on some sleep too.  (What did I ever do to you, anyway, Morpheus? Why do you mock me so?)   It's going to cold here for the next week too. YAY!   (Listen, all you warm weather lovers can bite me.  I watch you all swanning about all summer as if we weren't stuck in the first level of Hades while I lay on the floor and melt into the floorboards.  You can all give me one week of bliss and sleep.) Here's to hoping the cold kills off the mildew and Feisty Pants allergies are beaten back into submission a little bit too.

           So, here we are in a glorious little in between time.  No holidays, no birthdays, no parties to throw for a few weeks yet.  (The grandparentspalooza will roll into town in a few weeks or so. I apologize  in advance for Feisty Pants attitude afterwards.) No major doctor issues.  Just a routine g-tube change. Too cold for yard work yet.  No major medical procedures scheduled until the summer. So we will just try to catch up on sleep.  Figure what paperwork we are surely behind on. (There is ALWAYS paperwork with a feisty one.)  Argue over what TV show to watch.  We may even get to pretend to be normal for a change. Heck, I may pretend to do a craft or too.  I haven't sent Feisty Pants in with blue dye on her fingertips in while.  It's always fun to make the staff at school freak out because she looks cyanotic.

          So, here's to a little moment of blissful nothingness.  May your hectic times be brief. May you catch up on sleep.  May your messes have been worth it.