Monday, February 3, 2014

To Snark or not to Snark


                       Feisty Pants has discovered sarcasm.  She has probably known for a while. Like all parents, I am usually the last person to find out about her bad habits. Funny, how everybody else sees our kids' flaws long before they become a habit.  We always get to find them right about the time they are set in concrete.  And, my kids , unlike all your heathens, are sooo gloriously well behaved that any flaw should, by contrast, shine like a glittering jewel.  I don't have any clue where FP gets her snarkiness from.  (Well, to be frank, I do suspect her father.)
                       I discovered this when watching her converse with someone who was babytalking at her. A common problem, one that has quickly worn out its welcome with her.  Feisty Pants speaks and signs.  But her speech is garbled and her sign is (are?) modified, often gestures she has made up.  Her tongue and her hands do not cooperate with her.  She knows what she wants to say, but its hard to make YOU understand.  Add to that, there is sometimes a lag in time as she tries to force her muscles to correctly do what she wants them to do.  Often the conversation has moved along before she can get a word in.  But that is  different problem than not understanding and when others do not see that she is quickly frustrated.   How would you feel if no one understood you and therefore thought YOU were incapable of thought?
                     Apparently, FP's new feeling is somewhere south of frustrated and just east of "oh, eff it".  So now we have noticed, her mouth and her words don't always match.  Not in a nonsensical way.  More like, she says the polite thing, but is signing something different.  Someone asked is she was "eating her dindins"  the other day.  She said "yes," but signed "no, I'm pooping."  Another time someone asked if she was looking forward to meeting the newest member of the family.  She answered "yep," but signed "no, throw it away". All while watching my face intently to see if I have caught on.  And, me being the grown up mommy person, I have to try to keep a straight face through the whole shebang.  And the more it looks like I am having trouble, the more she does it.
                         So, here I sit on the horns of a dilemma, because I get it.  It's awful to feel dismissed.  It sucks being misunderstood.   And I want to encourage any form of self determination  and spirit in Feisty Pants.  But rudeness is not self assertion.  But she's not the one being rude FIRST.  They have usually kind of earned her scorn.  But not always.  She needs to learn patience too.  But it's so damn funny. She's basically sassing an adult right to their face and if they had only tried to understand her, they would see it.  And then she wouldn't do it. It would lose its appeal.  But it's still rude.  Mostly. And FP is little and cute and adorable which only makes it funnier.   Is it harmless fun or am I creating Snarkenstein?  I did try talking this over with the guy who is SUPPOSED to be the other adult in this house, but he just high fived her and that does not help.   So, to snark or not to snark? 

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