Sunday, February 16, 2014

A Captive Audience


                  We are on day two of a five day weekend.  Or as Feisty Pants calls it, her second day of captivity.  She is getting over a minor cold.  No biggie really, but it does mean she can't go outside.   Where everybody else in the whole freaking universe is apparently attending a weekend long Valentine's Day snowstravaganza.  She knows this.   And I am the meanest evilest mom EVER for not allowing to take part.   Just ask her.   And all of her toys suck.   And those people outside are NOT just shoveling out sidewalks and driveways.  They are having FUNNNNN.  And, no, she does not want to do "anyfink at all"  with me.   I might taint her with my evil.  Why, if it wasn't for some nature special on spider babies that eat their mother she would have run away from home hours ago.
                   And who cares if Hippie Pants is coming over tomorrow to spend the morning with her.   That's a million years from now.  Or that her aunt and uncle will be visiting sometime over the weekend.   Or that we will make ice cream.   Or that there will be a new monster special on later.  Batsquatch sounds promising, but  all of that is a million billion years into the future and she will have succumbed to terminal ennui by then.   And I better not even THINK of trying to cheat and jolly her into a better mood with music.  She has sinus headache and music is "ucky" because it makes her head ooooie right now.
               And so,  today's post  is about something no one tells you. But if you are just beginning this journey of raising a disabled child,  really someone should.  Disabled children can be a stubborn pain in the ass. Anyone can be, be it seems to be a specialty of theirs.  I have  a whole theory on this.  A lot of times what keeps anyone going through any type of crisis is sheer obstinacy  And personality traits are like muscles.  The more you exercise them, the stronger they get.  This is not a bad thing.  It is what makes humans brilliant and adaptable.  We muddle through all sorts of problems and catastrophes simply because we refuse to give up.  We just keep on plugging away at it, until by design or sheer luck, we figure it out. Disabled kids, especially ones who are sick a lot need this trait.  Otherwise they simply would not make it through a lot of their illnesses and setbacks.  They would not survive. So, the trait that makes me thank the stars above when we get through the scary ambulance ride or not breathing episode is stubborness. What lets Feisty Pants get up and try to control her body and navigate her world  when its really frigging hard and often painful is a stubborn refusal to give in.  What makes us applaud her and do "I'm proud of you dance" for her is what makes her the biggest PIA  when she is whiny and bored.  And you will feel like a an awful parent if it gets on your nerves somedays.  Which it will.   So, take a deep breath and cut yourself some slack.  This too shall pass, I promise.  And its only 6 more hours to batsquatch.  At least, she isn't a spiderlet with a hundred siblings all wanting lunch.

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