Surviving Limbo

           Hospitals are psychologically strange places.  You're there because something bad, at least in a minor way if nothing else, has happened.  But you're there because it's a sanctuary for healing. One half scary and stressful for a parent, one half serene place of healing.  An odd combo of purgatory and limbo.  The hallways are like mazes (especially at night).  People tend to behave like they are churches.  We wear good clothes and try to use our grown up inside voices.

        So, how do you survive if you are in one these strange places for a while?  I thought perhaps I could pass along a few tips.  First, wear comfortable shoes.  Really.  Our instinct is dress at least business casual.  After all we want them to take us seriously.  But you're gonna be stuck wearing that outfit and those shoes allllll day. If it's your kid in the hospital, you are probably going to be sleeping in that outfit. They had better be comfortable or your day is gonna suck that much more.

            Next, make friends with the nurses.  Nurses are awesome. Seriously.  They have the most hands on time with the patients, so they always know more about your (or your kid's) case than the doctors.  And they are usually the ones who translate any jargon you don't get.  If you have any questions, ask them first.  If they don't have the answer, they usually at least know who will have the answer for you.

           Also, if you have any questions about hospital life, ask.  And know that you can always ask for a social worker. They can explain your rights and responsibilities vis-a-vis medical decisions or the bill.  They are great for things like help with accommodations or transportation if you are from out of town.  Please, note they can't score you a free place to stay. But they can tell you how to get a discount on a hotel or how to contact a Ronald McDonald House.  Or get you a discount in the hospital cafeteria.  Or where to find things like shampoo or soap or if you're really lucky where to do a load of laundry on the cheap.

            And while we are at it.  A tip I learned the hard way.  If you have a kid (or any loved one you accompany on hospital stays)  who is often hospitalized or transferred out of town, make yourself a small emergency kit. In this kit put:  a list of medications routinely taken, a list of doctors seen and their phone numbers, any therapies/ treatments used regularly, toothbrush, comb/brush, pair of socks, spare cell phone charger, one spare outfit, a small bar of soap or small bottle of shampoo, if you can a ten dollar bill or roll of quarters.  I am sure you will think of other things you want or need as you do this.  Believe me, a couple of three am ER trips and you will know all exactly what you want in that thing.  And it will make a huge difference when it's the middle of the night and/or the middle of a crisis and you cannot think straight let alone remember every specialist/medication dosage/med allergies while some one is firing questions at you.  A tiny bit of readiness makes the whole process a little less harried and makes you, the caregiver more relaxed.  Which makes the patient more relaxed.  Which makes them heal faster.  And that's better for everybody.