An Apology in Advance

                So, whoop whoop whoop.  This is not a drill. Repeat- this is not a drill.   Grandparents are due in two days.  Repeat, grandparents arrival imminent. 

                Seriously, I apologize in advance.  The grandparentspalooza tour is incoming.  My parents will be here this week.  (What?  This week not this weekend, you say?  Yes.  But why?  Because school night bedtimes and rules are for squares, Narc, that's why.)  Feisty Pants is properly thrilled.  First, she got to run away and join the circus this weekend which she loved. They had clowns and elephants and peta protestors and everything!    Now she will get to go out for Chinese and go shopping and invite people over for pizza.  It's like she gets to pretend she is a real live girl and not some horrible prisoner of the most boring people on the planet.

                 And, so, I apologize.  My parents are coming to swoop in and behave like a cross between Tante Kringle and  smart alecky toddlers with credit cards and driver's licenses.  (What? It's three am and you want ice cream? Of COURSE, let's go!! Coffee flavored ice cream in a monster float? Why, yes you can! Your parents can sleep when they're dead. giggle giggle giggle )  They will not settle for being just a small party either.  They will get here and start calling my in-laws and invite them along. Feisty Pants for her part will adore this and get right into the spirit of things.  Staying up until the wee hours of the morning. (We cannot afford to miss a thing, now can we?)  Getting into the spirit of the party chaos. (Last year, she pulled out her g-tube in the middle of the Chinese restaurant and threw it.   Fun fact, they have a koi pond there.)  She cannot wait to show her new hair do with the pink streaks.  I hate pink and gender stereotyping- so my mother will give her money for doing it I am sure.  Life is no fun without a co-conspirator.   FP may have to share the squees with her niece and nephew, so we will see how she handles that.

               I am hopeful that she will not be obnoxious once they go.  Usually she is not tooooooo bad.  Not overtly rude but completely befuddled if things don't automatically go her way.  A week of being told you are made of rainbows and unicorn glitter and that the sun rises when you do and sets on your bellybutton does have its effects.  My mother once told me before I had kids that she "considered grandchildren revenge".  She was not kidding around.  You have all been warned.