And the clock strikes twelve

              I was going to make this post about Feisty Pants' review of binge watching a season of Game of Thrones (which I thought be funny) but her entire view of it was summed up in, "Not enough dragons"  so no. (And don't bitch at me, she doesn't see that well so she misses most of the stuff she shouldn't see)  Then I was going to get her to review a movie or two but she summed up Captain America as "Ok, but not as pretty as Thor," and another movie as "fine until it bored me," so now I gotta come up with something else.  Perhaps I will make this post about very effing twelve years old she is. Of course, then I have to come up with spelling out the sound of her eye rolling.

              In some ways she is still just a tiny thing.  She is officially short.  (Diagnosed with "short stature" due to the cp and repeated infections which stunted her growth.)  She is rather thin.  Cp, again.  She absolutely cute and feisty which seems to add her "aren't I just a pixie" demeanor.   Her speech is garbled and her face, while beautiful, is not always expressive to an outsider.  Which again, makes her seem younger.   But she is tough as nails.  And in some ways, a little world weary.  (How many emergency helicopters have you ridden on?  How many times has an ER doctor popped a hole in your shinbone while you watched him?)  Feisty Pants even has the dark sense of humor of someone who has been there, done that, got the stitches to prove it.   And she is most certainly twelve.  Superheroes are now judged on whether they are pretty on top of super.  Side eye is now an art form.  She was seen holding hands with a boy at school.  And another boy gave her his phone number.   Which she promptly brought home and used as a reason why she needs her own facebook account. ("Not fair.  Can't talk phone.")

               So now, we are distinctly looking down the barrel of puberty, whether we like it or not.   And whether her father is ready for another teenage girl or not.  (At least, so far, this one does not slam doors)  And just to drive the point home, today she asked her father to buy her a beer.  Those people on the tv ad were dancing on a beach and they looked like they were having fun.  When told NO, she said she would simply ask someone else to do it, because summers are made for parties.  There is no finer example of  an incredible combination of naivete and too cool for the universe diva-tude as a twelve year old girl.  And now Feisty Pants has got in spades.  May the Universe have mercy on us all.

Popsiclepalooza

           Okies, people.  So I was writing about the heat.  (It is too writing and NOT whining, shut up.)  But then we were rudely interrupted by a lung infection.  And then my whining about that. But now I am done digressing.  So, since no matter how much I hope and wish, winter is not coming back for like, forever, I figured I just give in and look up some yummy popsicle recipes online.  I refuse to turn my oven on if it's over 80.  Some days it's even too hot to grill.  So how does one load healthy food into the fam without living on yogurt and salads? I could live on them but the rest of the inmates here seem to think they need something different after a few days of "but THIS salad is completely different".  

            Personally, I just resort to lying. Or more precisely, to neglecting to tell them exactly how healthy the "junk" food I have "compromised" on really is.  (Fink on me and you will all be on my list) I have no regrets either.  They think they are having a dessert for dinner.  I did not have to risk spontaneous human combustion.  These are actually pretty healthy considering we are having popsicles for a meal.  So here some yummy ideas for your "omg, it's too hot to even contemplate cooking" meal (or even just want a healthy snack.) You will need either a popsicle mold (You can find them everywhere this time of year.) or just use freezer safe cups. The trick with cups is to cover tightly with saran wrap and then poke the sticks in. The saran wrap will hold it up. (mostly)  You can  even use a pretzel rod for a stick if you don't any popsicle worthy sticks lying about.  You could also freeze them in small tupperware dishes and call it Italian ice.

              Basically what you will be doing is making a smoothie and turning it into a popsicle so if you have a better recipe than these, have at it. Or better yet, stick it in the comments and show off your smoothie cred.  The basic instructions are chop ingredients, mix in blender, pour into molds and freeze.  How many they make depends on your mold size.  By the way, if you can sneak some veggies, by all means do it.  I recommend starting with some carrot or cucumber.  Yummy, healthy and hard to detect.  I can no longer do that as someone here finked (You still suck for that GOO) and now they all watch me like hawks.

Chocolate Banana:  eight ounces greek yogurt (plain, vanilla, or banana would work), four ounces almond milk,  four medium bananas (the riper the better), 2 ounces nut butter (any) and two tbs cocoa powder.

Pina Colada: eight ounces greek yogurt (lemon, coconut or pineapple), four ounces pineapple juice or crushed pineapple, 2 ounces flaked coconut

Tropical Bliss: eight ounces greek yogurt (any flavor -I would recommend passionfruit), four ounces canned tropical fruit (or fresh, whatevs), four bananas

Apple Pie: eight ounces  vanilla greek yogurt, four chopped apples, 2 tsp raw honey, 1 tsp cinnamon.

               

And now it's raining pollen

                 So sigh, it's been a couple of weeks since I posted.   It's not due to laziness or lack of discipline, I swear. ( Seriously.  Don't listen to anything these so called people who live here say.  They are not to be trusted with their opinions at all.  Hell, they demanded to be fed daily. Like every single day.)  Actually Feisty Pants had decided to celebrate the fantastically high pollen levels around here by getting sick.  REALLY sick.  First,  she developed some sinusy, bad cold deal and was stuck at home on oxygen for a week.  Then she seemed to get better and went back to school. But she wasn't actually better.  Just plotting new and interesting ways to brew pneumonia.  So just when we thought we were all done, boom, in the hospital for a week.

                 She developed a fever Saturday morning.  So off to the doc's we went. That's a story in and of itself.  To make a long story short don't you dare act like I am the one in the wrong if don't answer your own answering service when I know you are open for urgent visits and then get all haughty when I show up and DEMAND that you see my kid. We all know that I don't have Muchausen's, Feisty Pants really is medically fragile, and frankly, the only difference between our views of my being a bitch are that I think I deserve a medal for it.  It is not my fault your answering service did not follow protocol and told me you were closed when I knew you were not. It was you or the ER and I did not think she needed the ER.  Those places are germ factories and we only go there when we have to.  We expected to be sent home with a different antibiotic and were all surprised when she was admitted.  But such is life with a feisty one.  It's always surprising in both bad and good ways.             

                But four days of IV antibiotics and three of IM antibiotics (read that as a shot in the hip) when the iv failed have put FP back on the good side of illness so we are home and back into our routine.  Back to school and therapy.  Back to being completely fed up with those boring old farts she lives with.  Mastering the art of the side eye when your annoying parents spout absolute nonsense.  Mastering the art of scoping out cute boys at school.  Discovering music that no one else has ever been cool enough to listen to no matter what they claim. (Holy Cannoli, there is a song entitled Puff the Magic DRAGON!  Who knew?) You know all the important things in life when you are twelve.

                   And here's to hoping we old farts can back to what passes for normal around here.  Catching up on cleaning and yard work that lay neglected while we were gone.  Explaining to the critters that we really are still in charge.  Catching up on sleep (please oh please oh please).  Maybe even writing a post or two.   Well, here's to hoping anyway.