To whom it may concern

         Well, it's been almost two weeks since I've posted.  First we have been crazy busy trying to fit in a gazillion appointments before school started.  Then the computer died so we were sans  proper interwebs for the week.  But now we are back up and humming along and school started today so my excuses for procrastination are now null and void.  It's probably actually a good thing I did not blog earlier because the last appointment pissed me off to no end.  This pause has forced to think about what I really want to say instead of just telling a certain doctor  to eat a bag of dicks.  (I should ask you to pardon my nsf your w language. But I am not sorry.)  So instead, what I am going to do is make a list of things I wish people would do when encountering Feisty Pants. 

So to that end: 

 

Dear teachers, educators, and school personnel:   For the most part, you guys are without a doubt the good guys.  You have been amazing and dedicated and awesome. But a couple of things.  One, don't think my disorganization is a sign of uncaring.  Feisty Pants has parents who have ADD and are sleep deprived, we forget and/or lose everything.   If its's important, write it down and e-mail us.  That way we won't forget.  Also, Feisty Pants is a genius at making people think she cannot do much.  Especially mentally.  Never forget that this is a kid who can get out of  a car seat in 2 minutes flat and escaped a wheelchair whilst belted in in the time it took me to cross an intersection.  She also invents funny insults for family members.  Humor is a sign of intelligence.  Obnoxious, snarky humor even more so.  Oh, and a special note to administrators.  I get you don't see her as much as the people who spend all day with her so you don't see her in all her glory, but trust me this girl is COLLEGE BOUND.    If we can do this in a spirit of cooperation and harmony, great.  If we have to do it with me dragging everybody kicking and screaming along our path, I am completely ok with that.  Respect her education or listen to me bitch ad infinitum.  Either way works for me.

Dear medical personnel:   Again, for the most part you guys are pretty awesome too.  But when you suck, you really suck.  I appreciate that Feisty Pants stymies most of you.  You spend ten to twelve years of life working your butts off only to be presented with the living conundrum that is Feisty Pants.  She gets sick when she shouldn't, sails through problems that should equal ICU stays, and in general causes you to lose sleep and sometimes hairlines.  It doesn't help that FP sees you all as the enemy and at best, ignores you and pretends you don't exist in the hope that you will be insulted and go away.  But she is not just a medical puzzle or cautionary tale.  She is a living, breathing, FEELING intelligent little girl.  You need to remember that.  And, frankly, I am NOT NOT NOT interested in your fears.  Don't give me dire predictions to "make me see how serious it is".   I ALWAYS take her health care seriously.  I just don't freak out easily.   And I lose respect for you when you do.  Also, tell all your medical brethren that the next moron who says a dire prediction in FRONT of the 12 year old girl, or in fact, talks as if she is not there in the room with you at all, is getting one of two things.  I will either smack you one or mail you a bag of phallic shaped gummies with a note that says eat this.  (depends on whether I have bail funds at the moment..)  You have been warned.