She goes every year. Her whole class goes. Her
whole school goes. The whole world goes today. And we made her stay home.
Why? Because we are evil that's why. Her class made matching tie dye t-shirts
to wear today. She was gonna get to ride a pony. There would be cotton candy
and smelly chickens. There would be rides. But she is missing alllll of that
just because we are obviously mean. Forget the fact that she cannot get on any
of the rides. Forget the fact that actually gets bored by noon and complains
the rest of the day. Forget the fact that the sawdust and fried foods and
random animals seem to set off her asthma. If it's hot, she comes home with a
headache. Especially pay no attention to the fact that Feisty Pants has been
antibiotics for 8 days now and is having what I shall euphemistically call
digestive issues (because "Dear God, what is that coming out of her now?!?"
seems melodramatic). We are simply keeping her home to day to ruin her life
because we are miserable and want her to be sad too. Just ask her. She will
tell you.
Actually, she is not quite that bad. She has
refused to get dressed today. ("No go? No clothes!") She did tell me to "Get
outta da way! and "chhhhhh" (she cannot say shh) every time I got near the tv.
We did try to explain this morning and apologize. When we asked if she
understood why, she nodded and said, "Uh-huh, you're EBIL (evil)" but no one got
kicked so I'll call it a fair trade. I really do feel bad. It always seems to
happen this way. There is always some event she is missing out on because she
gets sick at the last minute or (like in this instance) the cure has become as
bad the illness itself. If she's smart, she will try to leverage this guilt
trip into a real trip like a day at the local splash pad or a shopping
excursion. Just don't tell her I said so, she is tough enough negotiator
without any encouragement.
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