In which Feisty Pants finally does something fun finally

                So I haven't posted in week or two.  Feisty Pants is out on break right now.  Usually that means we have a little more time to get things done, but not this break for some reason.   Which of course just means Feisty Pants is oh so bored to tears with her horrible, no good, old fart family.    I don't she how she manages.  It must be like being a prisoner in the boring wars.  Just ask her.  She will tell you. (Last week, she told her nurse we keep her locked in the basement just to be evil to her.)

                Not that I blame her.  We are just so totally evil.   First we managed to commit germ warfare and give her a mild summer cold last week.   I don't know how- she and her sister were the only ones to have it.  But she is sure it was us.  Just to keep her "tuck at home" (stuck at home) .  Forget that she actually was only mildly ill for a couple of days and still got to go on a train ride to Cooperstown with cute boys.  Or, as Feisty Pants gleefully told her sister, she went on the Hogwarts Express and her sister didn't.  But still didn't count 'cause we are EBIL EBIL EBIL (that's how FP pronounces evil).   

                 And forget the Fourth of July.  We cheaped out by deciding to have a sundae bar with cake and ice cream and then setting off an official crap ton of fireworks.  Why did we not have a full party?  And she has seen real fireworks on tv- these were not it. They didn't go into the air like real ones. Sheesh. And forget that she was giggling and laughing the whole time, Feisty Pants was just being nice.

                Do not even bring up yesterday at all.  We dragged her to Syracuse and got her salivary glands botoxed.  For which we should be raked over hot coals.  If it works and means she does not get pneumonia well fine, but that is not the point.  The point is we are mean and made her go see the local torturer to get her face stuck with the world's biggest needle. The sadist was quick too.  He kept jumping out the way when FP was trying to kick him right in his Ph.D.

                 But, today, oh today, we finally got things right.  We let her out of her tiger cage in the basement.  She went shopping with the nurse and found a new bathing suit.  ("All red, white and cute without peachy."  I think she means red, white and blue- cute without being preachy.) Then the nurse met us at a county park with a BEACH and SWIMMING and best all- CUTE LIFEGUARDS.  Hell, it might have made up all the torture we put her through on a daily basis.   She only had wait thirteen years for it.