Sunday, June 26, 2016

Beat the Heat

          Well now, it is well and truly summer.  Officially second level of Hades here.   In other words, we are miserable.  No one is getting enough sleep.  The heat seems to sap the energy right from your bones.  Feisty Pants has declared a moratorium on pants.  And I am too hot and crabby to fight her.  Our world has sunk to the two rooms we can keep cool with the air conditioner.  Our grill has become our kitchen.  Dinner has become ice cream and fruit.   Are all you weenies who whined about the cold spring happy now?   This is why we can't have nice things. 
          So, anywhoo, before I get too cranky and pull this whole damn house over, I'd thought I would list some beat the heat type tips.  (You're welcome!)
1)  If you have a feisty one or elderly relative or medical reason for needing cooling assistance AND your/their income meets the requirements, you can receive a fan or air conditioner through HEAP (Home Energy Assistance Program)   You will need to meet the income requirements and provide a doctor's note to prove eligibility.   The link for New York State info for that is here.  (Scroll down to cooling assistance.)
Don't live in NY? Google "cooling assistance, heap, + name of your state here".
2) Your freezer is your friend.  Freeze cut up fruit and use in water, teas, diy sorbets. Stick your top sheet in there for thirty minutes before you go to bed.  Throw your t-shirt in there before getting dressed.  Stick a bowl of ice in front of a fan .   Shove a popsicle stick into individual sized yogurt cups and freeze for diy fro-yo.   Let the kids have that for breakfast. (Ice cream -it's not just for dinner anymore.)
3)Water loves you too.  Get a cheap kiddie pool and use the hell out of it.  Let the kiddos splash morning noon and night.  Let the dog in the pool too.  Sit it there with them.  Let the neighbors laugh- you will cool off and you can claim it's good parenting.  Host a water balloon fight.  All the neighborhood kids will sing your praises. Teach those whippersnappers of yours that grown ups can win a watergun fight too. Definitely don't forget to water your insides too. Kids can dehydrate really quickly.  Make everyone drink a lot.
4)Do the heavy duty stuff first. Or last.   Do the heavy hard work first thing in morning or after the sun sets.  It's hot and miserable.  Don't make it worse by doing your life's heavy lifting under the merciless sun.

             So, there you go.  Try to stay cool. If you need us, we will be laying on our living room floor saying mean things about all you freaks who love summer and praying for the Pumpkin Spice Fairy of Autumn to come and save us from you all.

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