In Which Feisty Pants is Fed UP

             Feisty Pants is not not not enjoying her vacation from school this week.  It was bad enough that we did not agree to her oh so reasonable requests for a cannon and some pleather.  It was bad enough that Goo, whom she thought she could trust, had the gall to get a tummy bug and give it to her.  It was even worse that I, Queen Buzzkill  the Unreasonable, made her go the hospital when she developed a secondary infection and had trouble breathing thus forcing her to undergo poking and prodding and icky breathing treatments from people who are all mean and surely have cooties.  We have now crossed the line beyond all hope.   When the doctor, in a moment of rare niceness for an old fart (she must be nearly -gasp -THIRTYFIVE), asked her if there was anything she could do to make Feisty Pants more comfortable, we Mr and Mrs Buzzkill Horriblepants, interfered and said no.   Well, technically FP said "Yes, go get Alfie."  The doctor heard that as, "Go get ELF". She replied,"Well, I think maybe I could. Is that a toy?"   We, the evil ones, said,  "No, she means she wants her dog (a pit bull mix), ALFIE"   And now we have ruined EVERYTHING!  They would too have let her bring Cheweverything Pants to stay with her in the hospital and we suck and ruined it.  She is completely fed up with us.  FP wants no more of our nonsense, thankyouverymuch, and is not speaking to us.  We know this because she has told us so about half a dozen times.   She even told on us to Grandma, who oh so sweetly replied that she would try to think of a way to let Cheweverything Pants come visit Feisty Pants and I should be ashamed of myself. My mother is soooo helpful with the kids.

              Feisty Pants is also completely fed up with the medical profession as a whole.  Doctors are mean.  Nurses are all out to get her. The respiratory therapists are nightmare inducing as far as she is concerned.  Why, when she carefully explained that her IV was annoying they all refused to take it out.  She was forced to do it herself. TWICE. And then, when she nicely had done their work for them, they just put another IV back in. They did not even say thank you. FP has no idea how we all live with ourselves.  Don't even bring up the blood pressure cuff.  That is not a medical instrument, it is a device solely designed to torture kids and she is not fooled one bit by our lies.

              Worst of all, it is supposed to snow again this weekend.  Just when she had discovered the wondrous joy that is sledding, we decide to get all evil on her and she is going to miss the best part.  And no, it is NOT too cold for her.  She is certain we are making up more lies to be mean.  Wind chills are something made up by old people who don't want to pull deserving children up hills.  How she will ever live with such horrible family members is almost beyond her reasoning.  Feisty Pants just must take comfort in the act that one day she will have her vengeance. As soon as she gets some pleather and a cannon.