There and Back Again

            Well now, it's been a million years since I posted. Or three weeks, whatevs.  We are finally home from the great hospital expedition of 2017.  Robokid is healing up nicely, barring a mild thrush infection from all the antibiotics.  I do wish we were managing her pain better but opioids are out - depresses her breathing, as are nsaids -will affect how her hardware/spine heal and bond together.  We are stuck with tylenol and distraction for the time being.  For the most part it's alright.  Feisty Pants is feisty as hell and tough as nails.  But from around 6pm to 7pm every night, she sobs.   We are not quite sure why.   My guess is pain but it could be pain plus fatigue or even just the emotional effects of having, as the surgeon put it, her entire nervous system tinkered with.   So her father and I, along with her nurse, second guess ourselves, hold her hands, and feel like horrible human beings.   Until about 7pm, when she magically stops and the Universe becomes wonderful (or at least, normal) again.

             Other than that, it's just really weird coming home from a long hospital stay.  Feisty Pants has had so many and they never seem to change.  Your world is turned topsy turvy, often with no notice and breakneck speed.  Then the day to day hospital life becomes it's own weird little routine.  Then you are shoved back home.  It's like coming home from war or waking up from a coma.  (I'm at least half right there.) The world is exactly the same but yet for you and yours, it isn't.  The house looks the same.  The world is the same.  But you somehow are different and yet you need to find a way to fit yourself back into your old life as if putting on a pair of old, comfy shoes.

               In an odd way, it's a little comforting that my house tends to a little chaotic.  I may be bitching and screaming and kicking as I put my house back together, and unpack, and shoo out the various lunatics (two legged and four), and catch up on three weeks worth of laundry. I am definitely bitching as I try desperately to catch up on paperwork and make doctor's appointments and get even more paperwork now made necessary by FP's surgery/hospital stay/shaman treatment/exorcism.  But it all gives me a way to slowly catch up with myself psychologically until I start to see light at the end of the tunnel, and realize we are truly home at last.