Beat the Heat

          Well now, it is well and truly summer.  Officially second level of Hades here.   In other words, we are miserable.  No one is getting enough sleep.  The heat seems to sap the energy right from your bones.  Feisty Pants has declared a moratorium on pants.  And I am too hot and crabby to fight her.  Our world has sunk to the two rooms we can keep cool with the air conditioner.  Our grill has become our kitchen.  Dinner has become ice cream and fruit.   Are all you weenies who whined about the cold spring happy now?   This is why we can't have nice things. 

          So, anywhoo, before I get too cranky and pull this whole damn house over, I'd thought I would list some beat the heat type tips.  (You're welcome!)

1)  If you have a feisty one or elderly relative or medical reason for needing cooling assistance AND your/their income meets the requirements, you can receive a fan or air conditioner through HEAP (Home Energy Assistance Program)   You will need to meet the income requirements and provide a doctor's note to prove eligibility.   The link for New York State info for that is here.  (Scroll down to cooling assistance.)

NYS Cooling Assistance

Don't live in NY? Google "cooling assistance, heap, + name of your state here".

2) Your freezer is your friend.  Freeze cut up fruit and use in water, teas, diy sorbets. Stick your top sheet in there for thirty minutes before you go to bed.  Throw your t-shirt in there before getting dressed.  Stick a bowl of ice in front of a fan .   Shove a popsicle stick into individual sized yogurt cups and freeze for diy fro-yo.   Let the kids have that for breakfast. (Ice cream -it's not just for dinner anymore.)

3)Water loves you too.  Get a cheap kiddie pool and use the hell out of it.  Let the kiddos splash morning noon and night.  Let the dog in the pool too.  Sit it there with them.  Let the neighbors laugh- you will cool off and you can claim it's good parenting.  Host a water balloon fight.  All the neighborhood kids will sing your praises. Teach those whippersnappers of yours that grown ups can win a watergun fight too. Definitely don't forget to water your insides too. Kids can dehydrate really quickly.  Make everyone drink a lot.

4)Do the heavy duty stuff first. Or last.   Do the heavy hard work first thing in morning or after the sun sets.  It's hot and miserable.  Don't make it worse by doing your life's heavy lifting under the merciless sun.

             So, there you go.  Try to stay cool. If you need us, we will be laying on our living room floor saying mean things about all you freaks who love summer and praying for the Pumpkin Spice Fairy of Autumn to come and save us from you all.

Mojo Rising

               So, I was going to do a post on more diy father's day gifts.  We think are we are crafty here and I like to spread the fun.   But when I discussed this with Feisty Pants, she did not think it was good idea.  At least that's how I am interpreting the rolled eyes and shouts of BORING.  When I asked what she thought we should do about Father's Day, she told me politely that she had it covered and I needn't worry.  At least, that's how I am interpreting, "Mind BIDNESS, Mommy!!"  Thirteen is such a sweet, genteel age for girls.   Between the purple punk hair do and the kicks to my head when I am doing yoga, I do worry that Feisty Pants is such a demure wall flower.   However will I bring her out of her shell?

               Anywhoooo, when I did ask what we should write about this week, she seemed to think hair dye and make up would be perfect topics, because she is thirteen and well, priorities.  After all, next year she will probably be in a new class and they will have (dramatic drum roll please) OLDER BOYS, so we had better get on the stick and get our mojo flowing now shouldn't we???  

               So.  To that end here are three diy make up/hair/mojo ideas to while away the summer while waiting to get into that amazing class with those amazing boys so you (or yours) can shine like the sweet, shy, little butterflies you all are.

Homemade lip gloss-

you will need : 2tsp aloe vera , 2 tsp coconut oil, flavoring (1/2 tsp extract like vanilla or almond or cherry OR a few drops peppermint oil -heck get all fancy and combine a few!)

Mix together. Place in roller bottle.

Homemade hair dye-   you can get all fancy and make serious ones (google it if you like)  This is not it.  This a fun, temporary color that mostly shows in sunlight unless your hair really light (or really lightened) This is temporary and will wash out in a week or so, so you don't have to sweat whatever crazy color your feisty diva wants this week.

You will need:  a few packets UNSWEETENED kool-aid  (FP suggests grape this week) , hair conditioner, applicator brush, shower cap.  Vaseline if you are picky.

Wet hair (slightly damp).  Place vaseline around hairline and nape of neck to protect skin. Mix kool-aid into conditioner to form a paste (enough to cover hair say 1/4 to 1/2 cup), blending until all lumps are gone.  Brush onto hair with applicator.  Place hair in shower cap.   Now wait, like forever.  A few hours or even overnight if you are patient.   Rinse out and style as usual.  Color too light?  Try again with extra kool-aid.  Just remember, unless you are very blond, this is a tint, not a permanent color.

Strawberry face mask-  A great toner full of vitamin C

you will need:  6 (or so) strawberries, 2 tsp plain yogurt, 2 tsp honey

Mash strawberries into a puree, add yogurt and honey and blend well.  Apply to face and have a nice lie down (say 10-15 minutes). Rinse off with warm water and pat dry.

There now, you are beautiful, rocking cool hair, and have fabulous skin. Go get'em!

In Which Feisty Pants Proves She is a Bad Ass

              The school where Feisty Pants attends is a school within a school that is separate from her home district.  She is in a specialized program designed for  disabled children that places an emphasis on independence and mobility.  It's called the MOVE program. If you are fascinated, you can google it.  I am too hot and tired to remember what the initials stand for at the moment.  (It's 80 degrees and muggy this evening.  All you summer lovers can officially bite me.)   Since it is in a county wide educational setting, the vocational programs are also taught on her campus.   This means FP has access to the cosmetology class at her school.  (Cue dramatic music and sound of thunder.)

                Feisty Pants has always been obsessed with hair.  She would hang holding onto mine as a baby.  When she was a toddler, I once cut my long hair to a shoulder length bob.  When she figured out I had done so, she gave a dirty look and smacked me.   She LOVES getting her hair done (or even played with), unlike her sister who thinks anyone touching her hair is committing a violation of the Geneva Convention.   When FP was an infant in the NICU, I would often come in to find that they had shaved some new part of her head (for the IVs) so I have always been hesitant to have it cut.  But Feisty Pants- who can hang out looking in the window at the cosmetology class ALL day if they let her- had a few ideas of her own.   Something she can control on her own?  Pretty much when she wants?  And it involves HAIR?  /Insert favorite expression of maniacal glee here/ 

                So, when she has been good, she is allowed to go make a hair appointment.  First, it was chopping off the length to get a cute bob.  Then she wanted a pixie cut.  I think the school was hesitant to allow her to get too wild.  They probably didn't want anger a parent.   But I am probably not most parents.  So on her last permission form I wrote "think rock star -it is just hair".   So then she came home a with a slightly edgier pixie with pink streaks.  And a belly full of giggles.  Then, two weeks ago she came home with purple hair.  Today, she came home with a few more purple streaks and almost a mohawk.  She is happy.  Pleased with her 13 year old bad ass self.  Full of "dig my hair, you wish you were as cool as me" attitude.  

                 In fact, she is so happy that I don't have the heart to tell her I had pretty much the same hair cut when I was seventeen. (She looks a lot better in it, though.)  So any of you guys around from back then when dinosaurs roamed the earth, don't tell her.  It will be our little secret from my favorite rock star rebel.